Fear 2 Faith

I never expected to enter the frightening world of cancer. Lannie had always been wholly healthy. He rarely even had a cold. He was a lifelong nonsmoker with no known cancer risks. Our two children were launched and doing well. Lannie had retired; I continued to work full-time teaching nursing. God blessed us with wonderful grandchildren. Life was calm, peaceful, and fulfilling. So nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared me for the shock of being suddenly catapulted into the horrific world of helping my husband battle the very deadly cancer called mesothelioma (meso). Our peaceful lives of Saturday afternoon college football games, babysitting our grandchildren, and doing “whatever” abruptly ended with these words: “I’m afraid your husband has lung cancer.” As I struggled to cope, I found myself teetering between faith and fear. I wanted my faith to be strong enough to drive away any fear. Surely, if I were a strong enough woman of faith, I wouldn’t be afraid, would I? Prayer became my lifeline as I opened my heart and soul to Him. I invite you to follow me through this journey. I am a registered nurse, so you may think that my nursing knowledge must have enhanced my coping ability and lessened my fear—it didn’t. I felt frightened, overwhelmed, and lost. However, I recognize that my nursing knowledge helped me navigate the complex pathways of the confusing medical world and provided a certain quality of care for my husband that someone who is not a nurse would probably struggle with. I am thankful for my nursing knowledge. Come with me as I share my journey of coping with my husband’s cancer as well as my personal journey of growing faith through fear. My prayer is that my words will comfort and inspire hope for anyone who is facing a serious, life-threatening illness. Our journey involves battling mesothelioma; yours may be a diff erent disease. Th e disease doesn’t matter; the battle is the same. I pray that someway, somehow, you win your battle.