Confessions of a Real 'CB' Nut

On the way back down 64 to Jamesville, I’d take a shortcut over to Washington going back home, I kicked around how to price Ann’s Equipment. Totally oblivious to what was going on, I heard a siren. Looking in the rear-view mirror, it was full of FLASHING BLUE LIGHTS. “Holy...!” My heart started beating so fast, the draft almost took the rest of me with it. You’ve heard of your whole life passing before your eyes, it wasn’t my life, it was my driving record. I’d just gotten the last ticket off my record, now this. The squelch broke on the CB. “Hey Cousin, you got your ears on?” Who the...? In a great sense of despair, my turn signal on and slowing down, I keyed the mike. “This is the Country Cousin.” No CB lingo here. Just utter despair. “This is the Cigar Smoker, I got your back door. 10-4?” Walter Parrish!! Damn his hide. He’d just cost my 10 years of my life. He pulled up along side. I’d never seen him laugh so hard. He shook his finger at me and pulled away. “Cigar Smoker got your front door now Cousin, put the hammer down and bring her on.” I planned to take the shortcut, but looking at my watch, I knew it was break-time for him. I rolled the windows down to get the smell out and followed him to the Town and Country. The guys at the “Family Table” would enjoy this.