Spinster?

In centuries past, women of a certain age are supposed to be married, if not, society begins to come up with reasons why. Frigid. Unattractive. Picky. Not enough goats in her dowry.
The sad state of affairs is, that in today’s society, things haven’t changed that much. Except maybe the goat part, well, depending on what part of the globe one resides.
Meet Tess Warner —Smart, independent, great job, great friends, full life…chronically single. Not that she’s obsessed with finding her plus one, but she’s not ruling it out either. She lives her life as she see’s fit, open to what comes her way. Little did she know a random request from an old classmate was about to come her way, a request that would put her in the path with someone from her past. Not his past, because he has no idea she existed, then or now. His past ends up being more than Tess had bargained for, making her question her no baggage code of ethics, as well as everything she thought she new about love, and letting go.
This is a story of a woman, then and now. Sexual misadventures, embarrassments, achievements, varying levels of self-esteem, and pant sizes. A humorous look at a modern woman’s plight transversing the mine field of frogs. And maybe, just maybe, colliding with the fabled, “one.”

-“Years of disappointing encounters had honed her faking skills like the sword skills of a samurai. It was all very choreographed. She imagined herself wielding a blade. Slash…”moan.” Slash… “ooh.” Jab… “yes, that’s it.” Raising her sword above her head, she went in for the kill…the not so subtle, but highly effective, shudder.”
-“He had the penis the size of a baby carrot. Sure they look cute in a salad, but when attached the guy you’re falling for…depressing.”
-“Wine made her do slutty things, especially if consumed in indiscriminate quantities. That’s why she drank Vodka, it was the safest bet…Well, if you don’t count that afternoon in Miami. But, in her defense, that scantily clad cabana boy at Fontainebleau had a body that would make a nun come in her habit.”
-“The reason there are so many fish in the sea is because ninety-eight percent have to be thrown back.”
"In life, there are road blocks and there are dead ends. You just have to decide which one’s at the end of your path.”